Whenever we face reality, and describe it to someone else, a little bit shifts inside us. We are able to move on, let go of past anguishes, we’re able to allow our trauma to shrink just a bit. If someone else hears us and can empathize with what we experienced, our emotions are released more, we let go of our pain and it disappears. We are able to move on.
It’s funny: when something bad happens, we always blame ourselves and feel ashamed. When I was swept away by the Tsunami of 2078, I had blocked out all memory of the happening, so it took me many years of telling and re-telling the story for it to come back, so that I could speak out its truth and vanquish its power over me. I had to go through my denial, my shame, my anger, my loss, and my guilt at having survived when no one else in my family did.
I missed my family so much, and especially my father who had taught me my purpose and my calling. And then I missed Jack who had rescued me and spent many months helping me heal, as he brought me to the Refuge to live. At the Refuge, I talked with my group and my group leader, and they all helped me to remember more and more. We had a special circle of truth, where it was okay to express our feelings, and no one was allowed to judge us. All the shoulds were kept out of the circle, and all the stories stayed in the circle.
We learned a way to communicate with each other that respected each person’s experience fully, and approached others with requests not demands. Each person was responsible for their own feelings and emotions, and their reactions were their own. No name-calling was allowed, we spoke in “I” messages, not “you” blames, shames or names.
It was liberating, and sometimes took a long time to get to the truth. At the end, people felt empowered, and their compassion for others flowed freely. That meant that we all wished each other well, allowed for our own healing and others’ healing all in our own time.
Each circle would begin and end with this same blessing:
“I am here to manifest the wisdom that lies within.
I am here to radiate my loving compassion into the worldd
I am here to gather the skins and to bless and empower all.””